Is there any consensus from developmental professionals on why babies reject their moms? Ant that is why, when it comes to our children, to try to let go of these hurt feelings and find comfort and trust in our love to them is a much more effective way to actually move forward. She just wants me to go away from her. You can read more about baby development at different months here. I want to tell you: this will pass. The earlier you start looking, the better. She is having a tough time, but please let her know that this really is a normal development stage. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. I am sure she wants the best for her daughter, i.e. Paula. I cant quite remember if this started at around the same time but she no longer wants to be with me she will reach out for anyone else who is around, and this is really upsetting for me. I hope its just a phase. I am super worried about our long term relationship and bonding. She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. this is just a phase. He will go to Nursery without a second glance and to any family or friend without so much as a look of concern over to me. But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. I try so hard singing songs, playing games etc, but it seems to make no difference. I was born to an ignorant mother who failed to nurture me. So, yes, absolutely discuss how you can help each other more. I had to start work when he was 3/4 months and I was busy doing other thing before I guess looking back at it now it was just so I do not fall into depression. I dont know what to do, I feel desperate. Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. I started wearing lavender lotion every time i saw her, trying in some way to create a bond. It may not feel like it right this moment but things will get better. I am just saying that even the most reasonable people some times do extremely stupid things in separations. I mean, how could we not be depressed when our babies seem to reject us? And I was the one at home. It will pass. Ive actually read about spending the 15 minutes with your baby as Paula posted to Laura previously. I breastfeed her and I handle 98% of all care for her. Assess your breastfeeding status If your baby is just a few weeks old and you must return to work, you may feel breastfeeding is not yet well established. Paula, Never has. Help?? Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. Hi everyone, have lost joy in the time with my other son I feel like I just resent him and my husband for being able to make him happy. A few family members told me to tell my girlfriends mum & dad (nana, granddad) to back off & give us some space when he was born because they were always round us & wouldnt let us breath. I am sure that one day, he will know who his mother is and what she did for him. except some weekends I have to work away from home (Overnight). And you know what? Also she is obsessed with my mother and just ignores me or is mean to me. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. I feel robbed of the moments that I didnt get to enjoy with him, she pushed to give him his first bath and has done so much as she says she is helping. I miss my baby terribly. its hard to be a parent but it is very important. Skype is also, of course, an option, but your babies may not respond to that with any great interest there and then. Our third daughter cant seem to stand me and it is really breaking my heart. Unfortunately I allow my feelings to get hurt too easily. Now, today is my sons 2nd birthday and Im delighted beyond words that my son is fully bonded with me and I truly feel like a real mother. Babies react in different ways when mom (or dad) suddenly starts working. Thanks. She is my first child and she is the most pleasant little thing ever so I dont understand why she doesnt all of the sudden not want nothing to do with me. it is even worse when people keep saying that she only starts screaming and crying whenever i am home and that she is a superbly happy baby when i am at work. 8) Life is hard for everyone, working moms included. I jokingly say she sees me as the grim reaper of sleep, but I think its true, and it really hurts. I give him 100000 kisses daily and hugs to kind of make up for it. My daughter is 15months old. If someone can take care of your older child now and then; have some fun together, just you and him. do my twins love me less? I do each and every work for her. Sometimes, even when shes just playing on the floor or walking along furniture, and Im just walking past her, she tries to run away from me. There is a worker at her nursery who she is not keen on and she scratched her yesterday which puts me in the same category as her I guess. I wanted to say thank you to those who shared their stories and especially to those whose answers said what is more motherly than to UNCONDITIONALLY love their child, no matter what response they may be giving me. Its hard for me to deal with this feeling, but being sad about this hasnt helped at this point. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). Double-check the milk What do you do when your 7 month old won't take a bottle? My boys are my life and i am so grateful that i am their mom! It may take a few tries for that method to work. Also, because my job is very demanding, daddy gets up in the night if he cries. You know, we have to accept it, applaud their development and let them go. Also, its kind of like when you go on holiday and leave your cat, when you come home the cat can be pretty miffed with you for leaving them, it can take a while for them to come round. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. Just remember you are a good mother for having these feelings!! Hi, I work Monday-Friday from 830 am to 515 pm , i want to move alone with her to see if she gets a little attached to me, but its hard.. I couldnt find any info about it happening to any other mothers at the time, I bf and did everything for her, perfect housewife and mother but she still was so hurtful to me. The last thing I want is for her to get older and call me mom when she sees me (even in public areas were if Im with her and she calls me mom everyone will look at me funny!). (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). Near the end of your pregnancy, talk to your HR department or supervisor about your return to work plan. I can see other parents are having similar problems, so maybe it is something she will grow out of in time. She even slapped me in the face. Your little one will still be provided with consistent, loving care. I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! Yeah, as you can see, it is common! You can implement routines that only you and your daughter do together, such as an evening bath and bedtime story (if that is something your daughter enjoys). He cant be without her for even a minute. Your baby is enjoying the world around him and right now grandma is great fun. I am a social worker and therefore I know all about attachment patterns and I just cant work this one out. But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. This will not affect your long-term relationship in any way, as long as you can stay cool about it. This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. I can understand that your sons behavior is making you sad. it really was beautiful. She is in love, so to say, and wants to be with you all the time. it felt so good reading all the posts and knowing that out there, there were so many mums who felt the same as I did. I guess what really hurts my feelings is that when she is home is her dad and then I come home, she could care less. Seems to be a bit of a pattern in the posts that I have read from you all. Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. This could change any day. It did not used to be this way she used to be very attached to me. If you are off balance, she might notice and you thereby reinforce the rejection. Children are not there to build our self-esteem, they cant and often wont, especially if we expect them to act in a certain way, or to be thankful or loving, because we treat them well. Employees who have access to these benefits express 1.5 times greater work satisfaction and are 2.5 times less likely to miss . And as much as possible, have your wife join in. And be there when they come back. Please help..I think I am loosing my mind.. If I feed him, he fusses, straightens. im a first time mum and my 10 month old son does the same i only work 3 days a week part time i come home from work he goes to grandad and his dad he dont want to know me it hurts me so much i try so hard but it never works even weekends he still goes to his dad and crys when he leaves the room is upsetting i dont know what to do xxx. If he is upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me. At 12 mos the situation was improved. My Mil also doesnt treat me well and still my child goes to her unknowingly. Since your baby just recently started to reject you, you dont have to worry about the overall bonding with your baby. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. My daughter is fine when she is with me, we have fun and adventures together. I am in the same boat. She seems to want her father more and will only laugh at me. The Reddit . Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. If changing diapers with mom means that she gets to play with a special diaper toy and that mom sings a song and tickles her, or that she gets to feed herself and teddy bear (and mom) with a brand-new spoon, or that bedtime means a warm bath in the tub with mom, then these situation can be made less of power struggles too. 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